Dear CCMS,
My co-worker and I had a disagreement and now she’s not talking to me. I tried inviting her to coffee but she just said, “no” and didn’t even make eye contact with me. Our work depends on us having open communication, what can I do?
Open communication is not only important to you but also to getting the job done.
You’ve identified the need to resolve the issues with your coworker in order to effectively do your job.
The following is a 3-step process to raising an issue effectively, and non-defensively, with others:
Step 1. State the situation as you see it, focusing on the problem (not the person), and using a neutral non-accusatory tone and words.
Step 2. Explain why it is important for you to have this discussion.
Step 3. Seek agreement on the issues and invite the other person to work with you to resolve them.
For example, in order to raise the issue with your colleague you could say:
Step 1: Since our disagreement we haven’t been communicating well.
Step 2: It is important to me that we have open lines of communication so that our work isn’t impacted.
Step 3: Would you like to work with me in resolving our differences?
For more information on how to have a difficult discussion with a colleague, please call a practitioner at the Conflict and Complaint Management Services at 613-541-5010 ext. 5641.
Thank you for your question,
CCMS Practitioner