Two colleagues had a spat a few weeks ago and now our whole department has taken sides. How did that happen?
Much like a tornado that violently whirls around damaging anything in its path, so too can conflict when not managed. This conflict tornado can have a predictable pattern:
Conflict event occurs – there is an attempt to deal with it.
Goals compete – the conflict was either ineffectively or unsuccessfully addressed, causing individuals to slip into a competitive mode whereby their solution to the problem becomes solidified. It is not uncommon to view the action by the other as deliberate.
Assumptions made – there is little, if any direct communication between individuals. Any information is from outside sources; the information focused on is what supports their assumptions.
Look for support – individuals speak with others to garner support and justify their position.
Conclusions drawn – communication has ceased and assumptions not challenged. There is no way to accurately understand the other’s intent; therefore, conclusions are drawn about the other’s motives.
Beliefs alter perceptions – unchallenged beliefs are formed and view of other is seen through a conflict lens. The result is a skewed reality of the situation.
Actions based on beliefs – actions and behaviours are based on held beliefs, which continues down a destructive path of zero-sum thinking, whereby one must win or face defeat. They want to hurt or punish the other, even at their own expense.
It’s much easier to address conflict right after it happens!
CCMS Practitioner