I was part of a team brought together to work on a special project. I overheard one of the team members taking credit for an initiative that was not their idea! I was so stunned and upset! Our team meets next week and I want to address this. How can I do this without damaging the team?
The intensity of your response is an indicator that a fundamental part of what you hold true has been challenged or undermined by the other person’s action. In order to address this with your colleague, it is important to reflect on what value, need, or aspects of your identity have been challenged that triggered your response.
Firstly, values are those core beliefs and principles that guide your daily decisions. Secondly, needs can be identified threefold; psychological needs (ie. acknowledgment, respect, recognition, etc.), substantive or tangible needs (ie. promotion, safety, security, resources, etc.), and procedural needs or how things are done (ie. fairness, participation, standard operating procedures, etc.). Finally, identity is how you view your status or role in your professional life and how you perceive yourself and want to be perceived by others.
When you are able to identify within yourself what has been challenged that caused your emotional reaction, you will be better able to communicate to your colleague how their behaviour has impacted you.
Using the DESC model will constructively frame the conversation to allow you to assert yourself without raising defensiveness in the other person. The model is as follows:
Describe the situation: what is it you saw, heard?
Express your response: what is the impact of the situation on you or the team?
Specify your need: what you would like to see happen?
Consequences: what are the positive benefits or results for both of you or the team?
An example of using the DESC model “when I heard you taking credit for (insert initiative), I was stunned and upset. Each team member has brought their skillset to this initiative and together, we have made positive ground on this project. Collectively, we should be recognized for the work accomplished.”