The January of a new year can bring up mixed feelings. The let down of the Holiday Season being over, the pressure and expectations of “New Year, New You” and the struggle and worry of finding something to look forward to in the short daylight weeks of winter. This is a common experience and something we could be discussing with our friends, families, and co-workers more.
Lately we have seen a movement of people denouncing the “New Year, New You” perspective, identifying that it puts unhealthy pressure and expectations to make change. Despite this wave of conversation about focusing on who we are now; this messaging does not seem to have made it to the advertising specialists. In January and sometimes even December now, we are bombarded with emails from stores and companies suggesting we “try and find a new style”, “find a new way of being calm”, “skip the gym and work out at home”. If not pushing a product to “help” us become new, there are still general messages asking if we are ready for change, or to tackle our goals. This constant reminder can be hard to overcome, so here are a few tips to help with the stress and anxiety of the New Year.
New Years Resolutions are not “Cancelled”
Making New Years resolutions does not have to be something we stop doing. They can be positive and helpful if we do them in the right way! One of the negative aspects of the original “New Year, New Me” thinking is that we often made our resolutions based on what we feel we should be doing. Resolutions that are based on “shoulds” are the hardest to keep and can be setting us up to feel disappointed. Instead, we can shift and make our resolutions about things we would like to do, things we feel genuinely motivated to pursue, or interests we want to engage in. If we focus more on what we would like to do rather than what we feel we should do, we are more likely to reach those goals or follow through, because we have more enthusiasm for what we are doing!
Reconsider Timelines
Too often when we make resolutions or strive to reach goals, we set timelines in hopes of that motivating us to reach them. The issue with timelines is that life inevitably happens, and we may not complete what we set out to do by that deadline. Instead, it would be helpful to set out to do things we like within the year when the time presents itself. Allow the flexibility of engaging in your goals when time allows, and when makes sense based on what is going on in your life. This will often increase the likelihood of wanting to do something rather than feeling like you must.
Share with Supportive Friends or Family
When deciding on what we would like to do in the year, it can be helpful to discuss this with someone in our life who we deem to be supportive. This can be someone who has a similar interest or goal in mind, or someone who has the same perspective on resolutions. This way they can encourage you to take the time for yourself, but not become a toxic reminder of “the need to change”. Choosing to have a resolution with someone else can make it more enjoyable and can provide a safe space for someone to talk to if you feel those negative thoughts about yourself or your goals seeping in.
Spend Time with You
Our lives can be so busy and so often we reserve any free time for visits with friends and family or taking the dog for a walk to feel “productive”. To help manage the stress and pressure of the New Year, it can be helpful to spend dedicated time with yourself. This can mean reflecting on the past year and considering what you really enjoyed about it—and it does not have to be anything big. Perhaps you notice that you started to drink tea a lot more or look forward to your drive home from work. How can you incorporate these more into the New Year? Can you consider trying different teas? Or maybe that drive home is an indication you need a bit more time alone to recharge your batteries. Get to know yourself and how you have grown and changed. It also helpful to look at the things that have stayed consistent. Did you feel grateful to have been in a job that you know, when your personal life was a lot busier? Were you relieved that Netflix continued to produce content because it was your go to on weekends? Learning about yourself can help you manage stresses that may continue into the New Year, or the additional anxiety of feeling you need to set new goals.
Reach out for Support
Talking to loved ones can be a great social and peer support and continuing to strengthen those relationships can really help with managing stress.
At times, having an objective perspective from someone else removed from the situation can be beneficial when experiencing the January Blues. If you are a military family member or loved one and looking to talk to a counsellor, reach out to the KMFRC Mental Health & Wellness Team at 613-541-5010 ext. 4811 or email intake@kmfrc.com.
Happy New Year!