Dear CCMS, My colleague and I don’t see eye to eye on anything. I need someone to help figure out which of us is right and which of us is wrong? Can you help?
When we frame our concerns as right and wrong, we’ve created a situation in which someone wins and someone loses. The courts have many parties who have “won” but are still very unhappy. This is due to the way we converse when a discussion is set up as combative, that is a win/lose scenario. When we instead approach it as a collaborative discussion, i.e. framing it as, “How can my colleague and I see eye to eye?”, then it is set up so both parties can “win”. Both parties get to have a say, and interestingly, only the two of you have the answer to that question. It makes for a much richer and fuller discussion with a result that is sustainable. More so than if someone answers the question for you. Like the courts, when you give the power to someone else to answer a right/wrong question, you may not like the answer you get. Even if you “win”, you’re most likely left with an unhappy colleague with whom you still have to work. Providing the process to have a collaborative conversation in a safe and encouraging environment is something the Conflict and Complaint Management Services (CCMS) can assist with.
Intranet :
http://intranet.mil.ca/en/organizations/vcds/conflict-management.page