The Gift of Presence

By Heather Kotelniski

Can you recall a time when you were talking to your spouse, but they had a vacant expression on their face? Though they were physically there, their mind was a million miles away, distracted by their own thoughts. You may have felt a little unheard, or perhaps even hurt – all you wanted was for them to just listen to you.

We have all been there!

The simple act of being fully present enhances the quality of any interaction, and helps create a deeper human connection between two people. Select ten minutes of your day (which has 1440 minutes) to offer your full presence to your spouse.

To begin, ask yourself whether you are paying attention to your spouse, or to the stream of thoughts in your mind. Are you fully there, or just partially so? Next, dedicate yourself to just truly listening to your partner; hearing their joy or their suffering, aware of every bit of the information without judging or making mental notes about it. Stay with the intent of offering your entire attention to the person you are with. Look at them when they speak, and notice their body movements and facial expressions.

It’s a simple, yet challenging thing to do – what a beautiful expression of love!